I'm a Mess!

I am a mess. I used to hope that I didn’t cross the boundary line of being too much of a mess. Isn’t that why that I try to hide so much? What will people think if they knew____ ? (fill in the blank)

Why do I try to be a spiritual super hero? Super Mom to the rescue! I run on adreline to keep up my image, rather than relying on my only true source of power. God. It’s like trying to dry my hair with the dryer without plugging it in. I go through alot of motions, but my hair is not getting dry because there is no power to dry it.

What does God really want from me? A heroic looking Christian who seems like they have it altogether? Where do I find that in the Bible? Isn’t that funny? I want to be a spiritual giant, but what God really wants is a broken and contrite heart. That’s pretty impossible to do if I am too busy trying to keep up my good Christian image.

Messed up. Yup, that’s what I am. Too messed up? Never! I spend too much time labeling myself and others. Can you imagine going through the Bible and labeling the Bible heroes?

David was a murderer, adulterer
Eve was a less than perfect mother. (After all, her son turned out to be a murderer)
Paul killed Christians
Jonah ran from God …......
Moses did not want to lead God’s people

These men and women played significant roles in Scripture and God used them in spite of themselves. Will I ever truly see myself and others as God sees? That the David who committed adultery and murder was called by God, “the man after God’s own heart.”
So why do I spend so much time labeling myself? “God can’t use me, I’m divorced.” I spend so much mental energy thinking, “I am less than perfect, therefore, I am to be shelved until the next life.”

Think about it, will the world be drawn to someone who ‘has it all together?’ Of course not, they would feel like they could never measure up. How much more powerful is my message, if I can introduce them to the One who loves them where they are and meets them in their messes. That is what makes God to be God. He does the work, not us! So, really, God can use me more effectively if I own up to my mess and realize I am nothing without Him. Am I a mess? Yes, but saved by God’s grace!

Psalms 51:17, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”