This past week I spent time with someone who never smiled when I was watching. How I reacted inside to her kept changing colors each day. At first I felt intimidated because she appeared as if she had it all together. You know the kind of person I am talking about. They take charge of every situation and appoint themselves in command whether a majority vote has been taken on her behalf. Her self appointed attitude permeated giving the air of "I don't really need you."
The first time I met her I struggled just for a moment with feelings of inferiority. She did have a lot together and knew much more about the activities we were doing. I decided to chase away my complex and offered my gifts and talents given to me by the Lord. Each of us are different you know. Not everyone can have it together or even look like it! I actually enjoyed myself as I found my little niche. There is joy in serving Jesus, so I thought.
But this non-smiling woman kept haunting me every day I was with her. She really did not look like she was having a good time. The rest of us were really having fun doing each of our tasks with enthusiasm because we enjoyed being together. I realized the 'party' was going on without her. Each attempt to include her was brushed aside.
By the end of the week, she did not even make eye contact with me. Maybe there is more to this than I understand. The one who appears as if all is well can be choosing to hide behind that mask because of its safety. She wrapped herself in a cocoon of busyness maybe really wanting to join in.
Maybe the truth is that deep down inside there may be things that are too painful to describe. I think I will keep smiling anyway and find a way to bridge this communication gap. Maybe someday it will happen. Until then, I'll keep smiling!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Guard Your Heart
It's days like today that I understand why God put Gal 6:9 in his love letter to us. Satan wants to wear us down as believers so we are not effective in our ministries.
Gal 6:8 talks about those who sow to please their own sinful nature. What wears on me the most is when these kinds of people prey on our weak brothers and sisters, especially children and teenagers.
Satan desires to make us ineffective by lulling us to sleep on major issues, especially what we allow and invite to influence our lives....books we read, movies we watch, friends and people of influence in our lives. Nothing is innocuous! We live in a daily battle and somedays we choose not to recognize it because it is easier not to. Trust me, I would love a break from the constant beating down that we receive around us. It is easier to join the crowd rather than walk away, but each time we stay, we become more entrenched in the world's philosophies. God encouraged us to follow Him, which would be a 'lesser travelled road.' '
Beware, friends because the prince of this world desires to numb us to things around us. Stay connected to your power source and "don't grow weary in well-doing!"
Be on your guard, brothers and sisters- remember we are in a battle and it is everyday until Jesus comes for his Bride!
God Loves Those With a Broken Heart
Psalm 34:18 (NIV) The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
God loves the broken hearted! How that thought washes over my soul like a refreshing rain to a parched land. I can say that in my times of being totally broken, God has touched me in such unique ways that I cannot help but share with those who struggle along side of me.
I never realized how much my deep ache could be comforted until I have offered a hug of complete understanding to those who struggle with the same heartache. That is when I breathe, 'Thank you, Lord"; I can see some of your purpose in this pain.
The church as a whole and in our local bodies are filled with broken people. No matter how perfectly we dress or how beautifully we sing, what counts is how we love. I wonder if too many times we enter our place of worship with pride of how well we are doing our Christian checklist: perfect children perfectly dressed and well behaved, tithe check ready, Sunday School lesson prepared, the smile on our face that conveys all is well.
Think about who Jesus picked to be his disciples. They were not perfect on the outside or the inside. They were smelly, cantankerous fisherman. Imagine them showing up on Sunday morning at your church!
Would we dare be honest with our brothers and sisters in Christ if we are struggling? Do others know us to be real in our faith as we are free to share our struggles, our shortcomings? Hopefully that is true of me, of you, of our churches.
"Thank you Lord, for helping me see that my suffering is worthwhile as I see it making me a better, not bitter person so that I may comfort others."
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I'm thinking of starting a new support group...MOAC
That's right...MOAC, Mothers of Adult Children!
When I was expecting my first child, I read a lot of books to prepare myself for this new adventure. I knew I was going to love being a mother and I wanted to be the best parent I could be. After he was born, I continued to read and ask other mothers for advice. Each new stage was a challenge, but so exciting to experience...the first word, the first step, reading his first word.
Somehow the years flew by with the first date, the first time driving alone in the car and now....his first apartment. Where did the time go? Wasn't it just yesterday that he cut his first tooth?
I did not prepare for this new stage. After all I had plenty of time; he was going to live at home for a while and go to a nearby university. Little did I know he had plans of spreading his wings. My heart screamed, "Wait, this is happening way too fast!" But no pleading could magically turn back the clock. The time had come for my firstborn to leave home.
Once again, I am seeking advice from other Moms, yes, MOAC. We are all trying to figure out this mysterious role. We are so used to doing for our children, helping with homework, fixing broken hearts, giving advice. Now that role has changed. I read a good blog tonight about this question of offering advice. Check out Lynn Cowell's blog at http://lynncowell.blogspot.com/2010/09/in-know-give-adviceor-not.html
As I shared on Lynn's post, I recently learned from a MOAC, that when our adult children don't want to heed our advice, we could put Phil 4:8 into practice..whatever is true, whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable...think on these things. I need to think of the good and admirable qualities.
I am at a point where I don't give advice right now. For this season (hopefully it won't be long) I am loving on my adult child. My love speaks by giving lots of space, setting boundaries where it affects me and yes, offering food! Who can turn down peach pie or brownies?!
The most important thing to gain through this journey is a knowledge of how to keep the doors of communication open. It's not a time to get frustrated when the other side is silent. When I don't hear from him, I pray, because I am sure he is very busy being the adult I prepared him to be.
When I was expecting my first child, I read a lot of books to prepare myself for this new adventure. I knew I was going to love being a mother and I wanted to be the best parent I could be. After he was born, I continued to read and ask other mothers for advice. Each new stage was a challenge, but so exciting to experience...the first word, the first step, reading his first word.
Somehow the years flew by with the first date, the first time driving alone in the car and now....his first apartment. Where did the time go? Wasn't it just yesterday that he cut his first tooth?
I did not prepare for this new stage. After all I had plenty of time; he was going to live at home for a while and go to a nearby university. Little did I know he had plans of spreading his wings. My heart screamed, "Wait, this is happening way too fast!" But no pleading could magically turn back the clock. The time had come for my firstborn to leave home.
Once again, I am seeking advice from other Moms, yes, MOAC. We are all trying to figure out this mysterious role. We are so used to doing for our children, helping with homework, fixing broken hearts, giving advice. Now that role has changed. I read a good blog tonight about this question of offering advice. Check out Lynn Cowell's blog at http://lynncowell.blogspot.com/2010/09/in-know-give-adviceor-not.html
As I shared on Lynn's post, I recently learned from a MOAC, that when our adult children don't want to heed our advice, we could put Phil 4:8 into practice..whatever is true, whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable...think on these things. I need to think of the good and admirable qualities.
I am at a point where I don't give advice right now. For this season (hopefully it won't be long) I am loving on my adult child. My love speaks by giving lots of space, setting boundaries where it affects me and yes, offering food! Who can turn down peach pie or brownies?!
The most important thing to gain through this journey is a knowledge of how to keep the doors of communication open. It's not a time to get frustrated when the other side is silent. When I don't hear from him, I pray, because I am sure he is very busy being the adult I prepared him to be.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Smile - it's contagious!
This past week I spent time with someone who never smiled when I was watching. How I reacted inside to her kept changing colors each day. At first I felt intimidated because she appeared as if she had it all together. You know the kind of person I am talking about. They take charge of every situation and appoint themselves in command whether a majority vote has been taken on her behalf. Her self appointed attitude permeated giving the air of "I don't really need you."
The first time I met her I struggled just for a moment with feelings of inferiority. She did have a lot together and knew much more about the activities we were doing. I decided to chase away my complex and offered my gifts and talents given to me by the Lord. Each of us are different you know. Not everyone can have it together or even look like it! I actually enjoyed myself as I found my little niche. There is joy in serving Jesus, so I thought.
But this non-smiling woman kept haunting me every day I was with her. She really did not look like she was having a good time. The rest of us were really having fun doing each of our tasks with enthusiasm because we enjoyed being together. I realized the 'party' was going on without her. Each attempt to include her was brushed aside.
By the end of the week, she did not even make eye contact with me. Maybe there is more to this than I understand. The one who appears as if all is well can be choosing to hide behind that mask because of its safety. She wrapped herself in a cocoon of busyness maybe really wanting to join in.
Maybe the truth is that deep down inside there may be things that are too painful to describe. I think I will keep smiling anyway and find a way to bridge this communication gap. Maybe someday it will happen. Until then, I'll keep smiling!
The first time I met her I struggled just for a moment with feelings of inferiority. She did have a lot together and knew much more about the activities we were doing. I decided to chase away my complex and offered my gifts and talents given to me by the Lord. Each of us are different you know. Not everyone can have it together or even look like it! I actually enjoyed myself as I found my little niche. There is joy in serving Jesus, so I thought.
But this non-smiling woman kept haunting me every day I was with her. She really did not look like she was having a good time. The rest of us were really having fun doing each of our tasks with enthusiasm because we enjoyed being together. I realized the 'party' was going on without her. Each attempt to include her was brushed aside.
By the end of the week, she did not even make eye contact with me. Maybe there is more to this than I understand. The one who appears as if all is well can be choosing to hide behind that mask because of its safety. She wrapped herself in a cocoon of busyness maybe really wanting to join in.
Maybe the truth is that deep down inside there may be things that are too painful to describe. I think I will keep smiling anyway and find a way to bridge this communication gap. Maybe someday it will happen. Until then, I'll keep smiling!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Jehovah Jireh
I requested prayer over a year ago for my husband who was experiencing so much stress in his job. We prayed and prayed and we asked for deliverance. We asked family to pray and even blogger friends to pray!
God has answered 'above what we could ask or think!' He received word this week that he was chosen as Supervisor of Technology in another school district. God has blessed him for his diligence. While he was walking through his deep waters, he struggled with anger, but finally gave that to the Lord for Him to walk things for His good. And he did!
Why do doubt? Why do we question? Doesn't God count the hairs on our head? Does he see the sparrow fall? We can say beyond the shadow of a doubt, "I know my God cares for me!"
God has answered 'above what we could ask or think!' He received word this week that he was chosen as Supervisor of Technology in another school district. God has blessed him for his diligence. While he was walking through his deep waters, he struggled with anger, but finally gave that to the Lord for Him to walk things for His good. And he did!
Why do doubt? Why do we question? Doesn't God count the hairs on our head? Does he see the sparrow fall? We can say beyond the shadow of a doubt, "I know my God cares for me!"
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Facebook Mom
OK, I have to admit that the only reason for joining Xanga, Myspace and Facebook was to be a watchful eye for my son and his friends. Being a Myspace Mom actually strengthened my relationship with my teen, if you can believe that.
The other day my 17 yr. old son asked, "Mom, how come you haven't asked me to be your friend on Facebook?" This was said over a lunch date with just the two of us sharing a white pizza with LOTS of garlic! To say the least I was shocked he invited me into his world that I usually barge into.
Up until recently the only reason I joined these networking forums was to be fully informed as a Mom. We have a rule in our house if you haven't personally met someone, then they can't be your friend ( with the exception of music groups, of course) You have to be friends with your favorite groups!
Recently, I found an unexpected blessing as I am so wet behind the ears with Facebook. Yes, I guess my pride gets in the way to ask my son how to do this. You can actually have a high school and college reunion! I have found long lost friends and am so excited.
I encourage you to enter into the unknown galaxy. Yes, Facebook can seem like 'the new frontier' to us parents. Trust me it is worth it to continue building bridges with your teen and can also expand your own horizons.
Will you be my friend? (Only if I know you of course!)
The other day my 17 yr. old son asked, "Mom, how come you haven't asked me to be your friend on Facebook?" This was said over a lunch date with just the two of us sharing a white pizza with LOTS of garlic! To say the least I was shocked he invited me into his world that I usually barge into.
Up until recently the only reason I joined these networking forums was to be fully informed as a Mom. We have a rule in our house if you haven't personally met someone, then they can't be your friend ( with the exception of music groups, of course) You have to be friends with your favorite groups!
Recently, I found an unexpected blessing as I am so wet behind the ears with Facebook. Yes, I guess my pride gets in the way to ask my son how to do this. You can actually have a high school and college reunion! I have found long lost friends and am so excited.
I encourage you to enter into the unknown galaxy. Yes, Facebook can seem like 'the new frontier' to us parents. Trust me it is worth it to continue building bridges with your teen and can also expand your own horizons.
Will you be my friend? (Only if I know you of course!)
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