Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I'm thinking of starting a new support group...MOAC

That's right...MOAC, Mothers of Adult Children!

When I was expecting my first child, I read a lot of books to prepare myself for this new adventure. I knew I was going to love being a mother and I wanted to be the best parent I could be. After he was born, I continued to read and ask other mothers for advice. Each new stage was a challenge, but so exciting to experience...the first word, the first step, reading his first word.

Somehow the years flew by with the first date, the first time driving alone in the car and now....his first apartment. Where did the time go? Wasn't it just yesterday that he cut his first tooth?

I did not prepare for this new stage. After all I had plenty of time; he was going to live at home for a while and go to a nearby university. Little did I know he had plans of spreading his wings. My heart screamed, "Wait, this is happening way too fast!" But no pleading could magically turn back the clock. The time had come for my firstborn to leave home.

Once again, I am seeking advice from other Moms, yes, MOAC. We are all trying to figure out this mysterious role. We are so used to doing for our children, helping with homework, fixing broken hearts, giving advice. Now that role has changed. I read a good blog tonight about this question of offering advice. Check out Lynn Cowell's blog at http://lynncowell.blogspot.com/2010/09/in-know-give-adviceor-not.html

As I shared on Lynn's post, I recently learned from a MOAC, that when our adult children don't want to heed our advice, we could put Phil 4:8 into practice..whatever is true, whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable...think on these things. I need to think of the good and admirable qualities.

I am at a point where I don't give advice right now. For this season (hopefully it won't be long) I am loving on my adult child. My love speaks by giving lots of space, setting boundaries where it affects me and yes, offering food! Who can turn down peach pie or brownies?!

The most important thing to gain through this journey is a knowledge of how to keep the doors of communication open. It's not a time to get frustrated when the other side is silent. When I don't hear from him, I pray, because I am sure he is very busy being the adult I prepared him to be.

1 comment:

Lynn Cowell said...

Thank you SO much for sharing my post with your readers! I really appreciate when we support each other. Next week I'll have a guest posting on launching anxiety. It is sure to be a good day of discussion...I hope!