I'm thinking of starting a new support group...MOAC

That's right...MOAC, Mothers of Adult Children!

When I was expecting my first child, I read a lot of books to prepare myself for this new adventure. I knew I was going to love being a mother and I wanted to be the best parent I could be. After he was born, I continued to read and ask other mothers for advice. Each new stage was a challenge, but so exciting to experience...the first word, the first step, reading his first word.

Somehow the years flew by with the first date, the first time driving alone in the car and now....his first apartment. Where did the time go? Wasn't it just yesterday that he cut his first tooth?

I did not prepare for this new stage. After all I had plenty of time; he was going to live at home for a while and go to a nearby university. Little did I know he had plans of spreading his wings. My heart screamed, "Wait, this is happening way too fast!" But no pleading could magically turn back the clock. The time had come for my firstborn to leave home.

Once again, I am seeking advice from other Moms, yes, MOAC. We are all trying to figure out this mysterious role. We are so used to doing for our children, helping with homework, fixing broken hearts, giving advice. Now that role has changed. I read a good blog tonight about this question of offering advice. Check out Lynn Cowell's blog at http://lynncowell.blogspot.com/2010/09/in-know-give-adviceor-not.html

As I shared on Lynn's post, I recently learned from a MOAC, that when our adult children don't want to heed our advice, we could put Phil 4:8 into practice..whatever is true, whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable...think on these things. I need to think of the good and admirable qualities.

I am at a point where I don't give advice right now. For this season (hopefully it won't be long) I am loving on my adult child. My love speaks by giving lots of space, setting boundaries where it affects me and yes, offering food! Who can turn down peach pie or brownies?!

The most important thing to gain through this journey is a knowledge of how to keep the doors of communication open. It's not a time to get frustrated when the other side is silent. When I don't hear from him, I pray, because I am sure he is very busy being the adult I prepared him to be.

Smile - it's contagious!

This past week I spent time with someone who never smiled when I was watching. How I reacted inside to her kept changing colors each day. At first I felt intimidated because she appeared as if she had it all together. You know the kind of person I am talking about. They take charge of every situation and appoint themselves in command whether a majority vote has been taken on her behalf. Her self appointed attitude permeated giving the air of "I don't really need you."

The first time I met her I struggled just for a moment with feelings of inferiority. She did have a lot together and knew much more about the activities we were doing. I decided to chase away my complex and offered my gifts and talents given to me by the Lord. Each of us are different you know. Not everyone can have it together or even look like it! I actually enjoyed myself as I found my little niche. There is joy in serving Jesus, so I thought.

But this non-smiling woman kept haunting me every day I was with her. She really did not look like she was having a good time. The rest of us were really having fun doing each of our tasks with enthusiasm because we enjoyed being together. I realized the 'party' was going on without her. Each attempt to include her was brushed aside.

By the end of the week, she did not even make eye contact with me. Maybe there is more to this than I understand. The one who appears as if all is well can be choosing to hide behind that mask because of its safety. She wrapped herself in a cocoon of busyness maybe really wanting to join in.

Maybe the truth is that deep down inside there may be things that are too painful to describe. I think I will keep smiling anyway and find a way to bridge this communication gap. Maybe someday it will happen. Until then, I'll keep smiling!

Jehovah Jireh

I requested prayer over a year ago for my husband who was experiencing so much stress in his job. We prayed and prayed and we asked for deliverance. We asked family to pray and even blogger friends to pray!

God has answered 'above what we could ask or think!' He received word this week that he was chosen as Supervisor of Technology in another school district. God has blessed him for his diligence. While he was walking through his deep waters, he struggled with anger, but finally gave that to the Lord for Him to walk things for His good. And he did!

Why do doubt? Why do we question? Doesn't God count the hairs on our head? Does he see the sparrow fall? We can say beyond the shadow of a doubt, "I know my God cares for me!"

Facebook Mom

OK, I have to admit that the only reason for joining Xanga, Myspace and Facebook was to be a watchful eye for my son and his friends. Being a Myspace Mom actually strengthened my relationship with my teen, if you can believe that.

The other day my 17 yr. old son asked, "Mom, how come you haven't asked me to be your friend on Facebook?" This was said over a lunch date with just the two of us sharing a white pizza with LOTS of garlic! To say the least I was shocked he invited me into his world that I usually barge into.

Up until recently the only reason I joined these networking forums was to be fully informed as a Mom. We have a rule in our house if you haven't personally met someone, then they can't be your friend ( with the exception of music groups, of course) You have to be friends with your favorite groups!

Recently, I found an unexpected blessing as I am so wet behind the ears with Facebook. Yes, I guess my pride gets in the way to ask my son how to do this. You can actually have a high school and college reunion! I have found long lost friends and am so excited.

I encourage you to enter into the unknown galaxy. Yes, Facebook can seem like 'the new frontier' to us parents. Trust me it is worth it to continue building bridges with your teen and can also expand your own horizons.

Will you be my friend? (Only if I know you of course!)

Isolation v. Connection

Isolation v. connection. How many of us struggle with this dichotomy in our deepest heart of hearts?

I was so touched by Lysa TerKeurst blog, "She Likes Me, She Likes Me Not". Check it out sometime www.lysaterkeurst.blog.spot.com. By reading the many responses, I realized I am not the only one who suffers from the disease of dorkness.

My soul cries out for someone to talk to…someone who really understands… someone to truly connect with. As the years go by I have realized that I am not the only woman who longs for this connection. Dee Brestin wrote a book years ago called, The Friendships of Women that addressed this very issue.

We live such separated isolated lives in our culture today. Piano lessons, soccer practice and PTA meetings keep us from eating dinner together, let alone allow us time to build deep relationships.

In years past several generations used to live under one roof or close by. A woman would learn how to keep house, cook and raise babies from her mother, grandmother, aunts and siblings who lived in the same house or nearby. But now we put our parents in nursing homes and move far away from family. Connection to family and friends is crowded out by our choices to be independent, prosperous, fulfilled and…lonely.

James 5: 16 says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

Maybe it takes us to make the first move to find someone to "confess" to. I know, I know. Many of us say, "but I'm always the one that calls. Why doesn't someone call me?" Wish I knew the answer to that question. But most likely our non-initiating friends have a phobia about initiating. We all have our weaknesses, though.

I've been asking God for connections and it has been amazing how He has been answering. By the way, the little girl across the street who needs a 'Mom' to care, came over again last night. She needed.....connection!

Hopelessly Romantic...

Yes, my husband is so hopelessly romantic. Now before you click to another blog and wish you were living in Cinderella's world like me, stick around for a minute and keep reading.

My dear sweet man ( who knows I am writing this, btw) is hopeless...at being a romantic. Yes, that is what he thinks and I used to believe the lie. In fact, I won Lysa Terkeurst's Valentine blog contest because I was so frustrated with this 'wonderful' man. Flowers? Nope. Candy? Nope. Card on Mother's Day? Nope!

Maybe a couple of times a year he will think of doing those small niceties, but the rest of the year? ? He is always ready to listen when I need him. He patiently holds my hand when I'm spazzing over the loss of hair us middle age women experience. And he works so hard at his job so he can desperately get that promotion so I can cut back my hours at work.

Romantic? Maybe not like Cinderella. But romantic where it counts. Romantic not just one or two days out of the year, but in the everyday commitment. I love you, honey!

Prayer

Dear Bloggin' Sisters,
Our family is in need of prayer right now. Would ya mind? My husband has been handling an enormous stress at his job. After a year of many hours of overtime working on a project that only he could do in the short amount of time they requested, the project was finished successfully. However, management above him however is not happy because he did such a great job...

We are waiting the next few weeks to see if he gets a so needed promotion or if he gets axed. We have been clinging to Prov 3:5 & 6 ...Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not to thine OWN understanding. In ALL thy ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths.

Also, "the heart of the king is in the hand of the LORD...Proverbs somewhere :)

I am learning on a daily basis what being an encouragement to your husband is. I'm am so grateful he doesn't 'cave' on me. He is so sweet and tries to keep me informed as best as possible without worrying me!

When our guys look like they have it all together, look a little closer and they might actually really need a big hug and a word of encouragement 'No matter what happens, honey, I'm right here beside ya!'

Thanks, sisters for your prayers...I'll keep you 'posted'